Let ’s take a facial expression back at the good old days , when children joyously massacre turkeys , casual chauvinism made the dinner extra tasty , and the Joneses ’ Thanksgiving calling card crank up the racialism against Native Americans up to 11 :
We’re happy this hasn’t survived the test of time.
Inexplicably creepy.
Apparently cooking the turkey is something new these days.
Keep this ad in mind, Kenwood appliance owners.
Nothing says true love like quasi-racist Thanksgiving wooing.
Mayonnaise goes well with everything, if you’re a sauce boss.
Sorry I can’t come to your party, but I can leave this rotting jack-o-lantern at your house instead. We cool?
What were we thankful for back then? Apparently the fact it was somehow okay to make fun of Native Americans.
The greeting card for those family members who believe you may have met your untimely end at the hands of an axe murderer.
Old Thanksgiving proverb: If a homeless man carrying logs shows up at your door on Thanksgiving, be sure to give him a vegetarian meal before telling him to leave your property, or you will call the police.
Some do not own an axe, and therefore have to send their creepiest child outside to scare the Thanksgiving turkey to death.
You’ve spared our lives, now let us sing you the song of our people.
Wrong holiday, turkey.
Turkeys are the reason for the season-ing.
Morbid poetry: What Thanksgiving dreams are made of.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
I am Pilgrim Ricardo Montalban, and I welcome you to Thanksgiving dinner.
I may have eaten some fermented cranberries, because I just saw a fat, knife-wielding baby riding a turkey.
Each cob is painstakingly delivered ear by ear — on the backs of tiny corn cherubs.
Every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed…turkey?
Turkeys: better drivers than Uber employees.
This bird comes pre-loaded with cutlery, for your convenience!
Be sure to sit one full turkey-width away from your spouse on Thanksgiving, lest you wish to be burdened with a pointy-beaked firstborn .
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the tastiest one of all?
Just a little further, Mr. Gobble, then you can rest — forever.
In 1942, men drank away their problems with Schenley Royal Reserve whiskey while eating their Thanksgiving dinner — over blueprints in front of a fighter plane. Why did this tradition have to end?
Turkey mothers: “Bundle up, it’s cold out there! Do you want to catch your death?”
