With Disney refurbishing Tron , The Black Hole , and Flight of the Navigator , it ’s obvious the Mouse House is mining its past for modern government note . What Disney properties deserve an update ? And no , we do n’t mean Hall of Chief Executive : The Movie .
Since the success of Pirates of the Caribbean , Disney has n’t been judge to capture lightning in a bottle double . No , they ’ve gone whole hog and built an entire lightning bottle plant life plan to transfigure your fuzzy nostalgia into hard hard cash . It ’s a massive paradigm shift for the company – a decade ago , who would ’ve think an Escape From Witch Mountain sequel would ’ve graze in $ 100 million ? Hell , even Lindsay Lohan ’s Herbie : Fully Loaded turned a huge lucre .
With new variation ofThe Black Hole , Swiss Family Robinson , andFlight of the Navigatorcoming down the pike , it ’s possible that some of the follow properties will be in the reticule of Walt Disney Pictures ’ money - gun . With some luck , they ’ll have all the swagger of the first Pirates of the Caribbean and none of the superfluity of the last two .
https://gizmodo.com/disney-s-tron-legacy-team-remakes-the-black-hole-5415863
https://gizmodo.com/disney-remakes-flight-of-the-navigator-because-you-dont-5270745
1 . ) Something Wicked This Way Comes
This 1981 adaptation of Ray Bradbury ’s repugnance novel about a dark carnival was pregnant with behind - the - scene difficulty . Disney wanted to keep the film household - favorable . Bradbury screw to maintain the novel ’s repulsion edge , a stance I understand but do n’t agree with . Anyone who saw this as a kid knows the movie ’s weapons - score nightmare fuel .
How To Remake It : Bradbury was n’t thrilled with the final snub of Something Wicked and the original does n’t hollo Disney classic . If you ’re going to refashion it , shuffle it over to Miramax and get Cronenberg or Fincher on it or something . Let ’s not have Bradbury ’s taradiddle languish as a Disney Channel Halloween special .
2 . ) Gizmoduck
Who : Fenton Crackshell was Scrooge McDuck ’s controller on Duck Tales . When he yelped “ ” Blathering Blatherskite ! ” he became Gizmoduck , the mono - wheeled Anas platyrhynchos of largess .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-k-Pw4K3U
How To Remake It : We have n’t seen Duck Tales in a while , so a cinema or television reunion seems equivalence for the course . My mesmerism ? Turn Gizmoduck into a live - action film starring a non - CGI , non - peach duckling who can turn into an adorable patchwork bionic woman . The cuteness will appeal to a wide demographic of tike and heshers . Go all Where The Wild Things Are and get some Pitchfork Media darling set to rack up it . ( Ratatat ? Bam ! ) Hire Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim to organise it .
3 . ) Nox On Bald Mountain
What : The 1940 Fantasia rendition of Modest Mussorgsky ’s “ Night on Bald Mountain . ” This succession is the reason Fantasia has never become a cherished film among psychotropic drug aficionados .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8Ca_edg6RE
How To Remake It : Disney ’s miningThe Sorcerer ’s Apprenticefor material , so it would n’t be surprising if the way metal Night On Bald Mountain is next on the agenda . Go full - squander swords’n’sorcery heroic poem on this one or at least beg The Mighty Boosh crew for a surrealist puppetry rendition . And for the lovemaking of Chernabog , no Halloween costumes .
https://gizmodo.com/we-met-apprentice-wizard-jay-baruchel-5185943
4 . ) ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter
What : This Tomorrowland drive was capable from 1995 - 2003 and closed presumably because it was frighten the heck out of vacationers . A winged revulsion is transported into the room with you in near swarthiness , and the nestling to the left field you will regurgitate his fish and chip from Epcot ’s England marquee onto your tennis skid .
How To Remake It : ExtraTERRORestrial suffered the luck of being too amazing for Disney , so give its mythos a billet on - screen . consecutive scientific discipline fabrication , no CGI or quad opera house gimcrackery . Just the creepy , trapped - in - the - dark sensation of the ride .
5 . ) Condorman
What : Over the course of instruction of writing this clause , I wracked my brains for way I could justify aCondormanremake . It turn out that ’s impossible . The universe ’s in all likelihood a better place for it .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDtNLuQX5GQ
How To refashion It : Still , if I wielded the keys to the Magic Kingdom , Condorman would be a $ 300 million endeavor sans CGI . The budget would mostly be spent on an elaborated pulley block organisation to make up for the crap special effects of the original . Condorman : More Condor would star Bruce Campbell , only turn a profit in Moldova , and bankrupt Walt Disney Pictures .
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